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Post by ARCADIA PENN MCCARTHY on Jun 17, 2011 1:57:40 GMT -5
 Gosh, the boy was amazing. Frankie treated her like royalty. Her was an amazing person, an amazing friend, and the best boyfriend anyone could ask for...so why the heck was she feeling so weird? Maybe because she hadn't been serious with someone in so long, she wasn't used to being "claimed" Maybe it was because deep down, Frankie was too sweet..he treated her better than she felt she deserved. The girl smoothed out the front of her soft blue tank top as she walked from the parking area into the sand. The warmth of its grains touched her feet, bypassing the soles of her red flip-flops entirely as she continued through the matter. As she approached the water she stopped, looked around and collapsed to her knees. She tossed her flip-flops aside and stared out into the water. She came with only the clothing on her back and a patterned swim suit beneath it.
"What the hell am I doing.." She muttered to herself as she crept along the waters edge to the rockier area right off the main beach line. She shed her outer layer of clothing and stood in her bikini behind the wall of rock. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair, twisting it into a large sloppy red bun. "Oh, take me..take me through the water..Pull me under,I promise i won't fight. Kiss me, make me breath, I've already lost my sight. The water will swish, the water will poor, but that's what's keeping me awake tonight.." She cooed in a sing-song voice as she dipped her toes in the water. She was completely by herself, and for once being alone didn't seem so bad. But company wouldn't be too bad either.
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Post by LORELAI GRACE ANDREWS on Jun 17, 2011 17:58:43 GMT -5
Every now and then, Lorelai got herself lost on purpose. Not because she wanted to be found, or she wanted to get into trouble, but because finding her way back was always an adventure. She always managed to meet a lot of interesting people when she stopped to ask for directions and she got to see a lot of pretty sights along the way. Today’s adventure had gotten her to a beach, although she sort of cheated because, in all honesty, that was where she had wanted to go- she just had no idea how to get back. But it hadn’t been that far of a bus ride, so she didn’t think it was all too bad. She’d manage.
The sight was gorgeous and she found herself enjoying it immensely. California was lovely. She’d discarded her flats in her bag a half an hour ago, content with just walking along the shore. There were a few tourist spots that she passed, but ultimately, it was quiet. The day was drawing to a close, although there was still an ample amount of sunlight, and Lore knew that she’d have to turn back sometime soon. But just as she made the decision that she needed to start finding her way back, she heard a familiar voice, and her spirits picked up immensely.
A few steps closer and Lorelai set sights on Cadi, her lips immediately curving up into a smile. Lore adored Cadi and thought that it was wonderful how the red headed female had finally found someone that made her happy. Happy enough to sing. Beaming, the brunette made her way over to the vocalist, dropping her bag on a rock. ”Cadi!” she greeted cheerfully, tucking a curl behind her ear. ”Fancy seeing you out here. I miss you. Whatcha doing? Do you mind some company?” Lore smiled, keeping a few steps away in case the other wanted privacy, but close enough to prepare for a quick hug if permission to stay was granted.
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Post by ARCADIA PENN MCCARTHY on Jun 18, 2011 23:09:21 GMT -5
Somewhat startled as the voice came from behind her Cadi spun around, seeing Lorelai only a foot away. The girl had questioned her, asking what she was doing, and if she minded company..it was lore.How on earth could she say no? Cadi smiled, welcoming the woman into the embrace it was obvious she was prepared for. "hey darling." Cadi greeted. "I'm just..Enjoying the quite." She nodded. "You know how it can be back there, so much commotion. I kind of needed a break." She added honestly. Cadi crossed her arms over her chest.
With the company being lorelai, Cadi didn't feel the need to go immediately frind her clothes and re-cover up. Infact, she actually felt comfortable around someone so bubbly and sweet. She knew instantly that Lorelai wouldn't judge her, think ill of her in any way, and it helped put her mind just a little more at ease. "Lore, have you ever thought you were doing something for entirely the wrong reasons?" She asked, unsure of how to go about bringing in a conversation like this. She wasn't one to "talk about her issues" and she never ever wanted to bring others in and make them waste time with her drama, but Lore was trust worthy and Cadi knew she didn't have to worry about the damn Gossip Lady busting in on something like this. Lore wouldn't ever hurt a friend.
You see, Cadi had been thinking, analyzing and over all, she was confusing herself further. Back when she had first began touring, she was a stylist. Nothing more than a groupie. She had no problems, no drama, only friends and fun..it seemed once she began getting "noticed" things started changing. Some for the better, some for the worse. But at a moment in time, such as this she wasn't sure if she was happy about it or not.
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Post by LORELAI GRACE ANDREWS on Jun 23, 2011 0:03:33 GMT -5
Lore was relieved when she was welcomed into Arcadia’s embrace, and she wrapped her arms around the woman, pulling her in for a tight hug. She was smiling as they broke away, looking around at the terrain. ”I like the quiet, too,” she agreed, spotting a few elevated rocks a few feet away. As she listened to her friend speak, she made her way over to them, climbing to the highest one and sitting on top of it. ”It’s been really… Sad at the tour site lately. I don’t like it. Everyone’s just so sad or angry and I just want people happy again, you know? They’re on tour. Everyone here is here because they love music and I think everyone’s forgotten that.” She frowned, hugging her knees to her chest. ”So I definitely understand wanting to come out for quiet and everything.” She shrugged her shoulders, pressing her lips together.
Lorelai’s brow furrowed as Cadi asked if she had ever done something for the wrong reason. She had- and it might have been the reason (or it was the reason, she supposed) that the only man she’d ever loved was now dead. She frowned even more prominently, scratching her head. ”Yes,” she responded after awhile. ”And I was right.” she stretched her legs out in front of her, then, and looked up at Cadi. This was no time to think about Elliot, not at all. Because obviously she hadn’t just asked for the heck of it. There had to be another reason. Cadi, upon further observation, looked… Sad, almost. And Lorelai felt the overwhelming urge to help her friend. ”Why?” she asked, biting her lip as she glanced out at the ocean. After a pause, she looked back at Arcadia, gesturing to a rock near her. ”What’s wrong? You can tell me.”
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Post by ARCADIA PENN MCCARTHY on Jun 23, 2011 13:02:01 GMT -5
Arcadia watched the girl climb up the rocks and place herself atop the tallest one. She patted the space next to her as if to gesture Cadi to join her so she did. She found a nice flat place on the rock her foot could use as a boost and a couple of good cracks in the rock for hand spots and pulled herself up. She adjusted on the rock and sat down, placing her hands behind her to prop herself up and cross her legs at the knees. Lore added that she too liked the quiet and the topic merged to tour, about the commotion, and just the sour vibes that had been pulsating through the air. Arcadia nodded in agreement. "I am here for the music, making friends was definitely the biggest bonus ever and all of whom I've made I love dearly." She added with a nod, the faces of those lovely people playing through like a slide show in her head. "I hope things turn up and the music really pulls everybody back in." she sighed.
Cadi took a breath and asked a question, she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to pull it up..but it just slipped out. When Lore took the time to think about it Cadi took a breath, Lore was so amazing. The dark haired beauty scratched her head for a moment and added, "Yes" It seemed she had thought of a particular incident in her life and confirmed in her head the answer to the question. The two sat in silence for a moment, but not one of those awkward silences that makes you feel bad, more of a calm silence, time to gather their thoughts individually.
Lore softly asked what was wrong and proceeded to pay attention, ready to help. Cadi chuckled. "I'm alright, no worries there, just...I've been thinking." She started. "I don't want to hurt anybody, I'd never hurt someone on purpose." She continued, she thought about her wording and carried on. "Frankie..he's so amazing. Neither of us have said our "i love you's" yet and I'm afraid he's going to say it before i can handle it. He's so SO amazing, he really does treat me better than any boy I've ever known, but for some reason, everytime I'm with him, just us two, I feel like I'm lieing to him.." she sighed. "I hate it more than anybody will ever understand,I went into this relationship of my own free will, I care about Frankie and I never EVER want him out of my life, and I'm so scared I'm going to break his heart." She sighed taking a deep breath.
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Post by LORELAI GRACE ANDREWS on Jun 24, 2011 1:18:08 GMT -5
Lorelai grinned- making friends was definitely her favorite part of tours. Traveling around was beautiful, but it was also exhausting and tough, being away from family and friends left back home for so long. But people, such as Cadi, Crim, Nox, Evie, Greg, Trin, and… Well, everyone, made it worth it. Because she always had hopes that, when it all ended, she’d get to keep in touch with them and she’d have reasons to go different places just so she could visit all of those friends. But there was so much tension and it broke her heart. Why couldn’t everyone just be happy? ”We should have weekly mandatory karaoke nights,” she decided, nodding vigorously. ”And anyone who doesn’t show up has to be called nothing but ‘grumpy face’ until they show up to the next one. And then maybe people will remember that we’re here because of the music.” Obviously, that wouldn’t solve a single thing, but honestly? Lore thought it sounded like a pretty fun idea nevertheless.
Cadi began to speak about what was bothering her and Lorelai frowned, nodding ever so slightly. She took a moment to digest the information she was just fed, then turned somewhat so she could face the other. ”Stuff is always really confusing,” Lorelai began, perhaps a bit off topic. ”People always tell us stuff and it can contradict. Like… People say that, when you love something, you should let it go, and if it comes back, it was meant to be. But other people say that when you love something, hold onto it for dear life. And… Sometimes, it’s good advice. But… I think it’s confusing.” She tucked a curl behind her ear, looking down at the rocks they were seated on. ”I think you need to listen to your heart. That’s what I think.” She blinked, trying to figure out where to take this. Finally, she looked back up at Cadi. ”Frankie adores you, Cadi. I wish I had someone to look at me like that again. Some people go their entire lives looking for someone to make them feel that important.” Lorelai paused, then added, ”Are you afraid you’re going to break his heart, really? Or… Do you just think that maybe you don’t like him as much as you thought?” She had no idea how Cadi really felt for Franklin, but she did know that this kind of doubt was probably never good. ”Are you with him because… Because he adores you, and really wants to be with you? Or are you actually with him because you have strong feelings for him, too?”
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Post by ARCADIA PENN MCCARTHY on Jun 24, 2011 1:45:31 GMT -5
”We should have weekly mandatory karaoke nights,” she decided, nodding vigorously. ”And anyone who doesn’t show up has to be called nothing but ‘grumpy face’ until they show up to the next one. And then maybe people will remember that we’re here because of the music.” Cadi giggled. "Lore that's an amazing idea, but people like David would be constant grumpy face..as would like..Mira, cuz she's so busy these days" Cadi's smile didn't fade too quickly as she spoke of other bandies. She shook her heas. "Though I promise I'd make it every time"she nodded with another smile.
As she began trying to explain herself to Lore, she could feel a lump in her throat trying to form. Tears were such an awful thing. They gave away much too much of you and made you feel terrible..At least they always did for Cadi. ”Frankie adores you, Cadi. I wish I had someone to look at me like that again. Some people go their entire lives looking for someone to make them feel that important.” Lorelai paused, then added, ”Are you afraid you’re going to break his heart, really? Or… Do you just think that maybe you don’t like him as much as you thought?” Cadi shook her head quickly. "no no, that's not it. I really do like him. I like him soo much. But.." she sighed. "Something is missing and I can't place my finger on it. It's not something Frankie can just go do, or change, I don't want him to change a thing. He's too perfect." she nodded, agreeing with herself. ”Are you with him because… Because he adores you, and really wants to be with you? Or are you actually with him because you have strong feelings for him, too?”
Cadi had to think on that one. She had always been the type of person to put everybody before herself. She couldn't just let someone be sad, and knowing Frankie wanted her just made her feel like she had to give herself over. Did she want him too, yes, yes of course! But, enough to form a relationship? Cadi tapped her chin. "ya know..That one was a good question." she looked up to the sky as if the answers would just fall from the clouds. "I do have strong feelings for him..I do." she finally confirmed. "Though everybody knows..including that asshole..I have feelings for Dave too.." she stopped talking, completely flabbergasted at herself, she had just admitted it, out loud, infront of another human being. "Everybody thinks I'm nuts..that I'm completely crazy for even having an inch of care for someone like Dave..But...I can't let go of who he used to be..Nobody knew him like I did. He..he was a different person. and i suppose I can't drop it because I haven't been able to let go of the person he was before.." woah...relief kind of washed over her like a stream..she'd never been able to say that before..never.
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Post by LORELAI GRACE ANDREWS on Jun 29, 2011 0:07:02 GMT -5
Lorelai furrowed her brow in thought when Arcadia mentioned that Dave and Mira would be constant grumpy-faces. That was true. ”Well… I couldn’t call Dave a grump because I’m scared of him so I try not to talk to him at all,” she noted, wincing a little with guilt at that admission. She knew that Dave was important to Arcadia, but… He was kind of really super frightening. ”And I don’t think I’d have the heart to call Mira a grump because I love her. So…” That plan wouldn’t work. She thought for a moment. ”Oh! No. Okay, I’ve got it. So, the deal is that everyone has to sing one song per week. And if they miss a week, it rolls over to the next week. So they just hafta sing a bunch of songs when they do show up and they get swept up in the music and they’ll want to start coming every week. Yeah.” She nodded, happy with that plan.
Arcadia delved into her problems and Lore frowned, climbing down onto the rock next to Cadi, enveloping her in a huge hug. She looked like she needed it. It broke Lorelai’s heart to think that her friends weren’t happy. She was the kind of person who just wanted everyone to be friends, with smiles and laughter and all of that other cheesy stuff. And then she started talking about how David used to be a different man, Lore listened with a nod. David scared her, but she knew where Cadi was coming from. It was hard. ”You’re not crazy at all,” Lorelai consoled, squeezing her hand gently, ”I promise. I was in your shoes, once. I mean… You know that the real man is in there, and you’re just… Biding your time, hoping he comes back out. And you’re afraid that if you leave, you’ll miss your opportunity.” It was, ultimately, the same situation as when Elliot got into a lot of drugs. Lore tried to squelch the thought that Ellie was like Dave during those two dark years. She didn’t want to think that.
It was a sticky situation. ”I think… I… I don’t want to tell you what to do, but. In my opinion? You should think for a second about… About Frankie’s role in your life. I… I know you like him. I think it’s impossible not to like the guy. But… If old David were to walk back into your life, how quickly would you dump Franklin? Because… Frankie is perfect now, while Dave is going through his rough patch. But what if he pulls out of it?” She frowned, almost afraid to give her opinion on the topic. ”I’m just… Saying. If you… If you’d dump Frankie for old Dave, maybe… Maybe you should end the relationship. I… I’m just afraid that… That if you would do it, the longer you wait… The more it’s going to hurt Frankie when it ends.”
Lorelai bit her lip, suddenly aware of how that must have come out. ”And no one would blame you for it, Cadi. The heart wants what it wants. I’m sure Frankie would understand, but… If you’re having doubts… I don’t want to see either of you hurt.” She tightened the hug, trying to be comforting. ”Do what your heart tells you to do. If you want Frankie, be with Frankie. If you want to wait for Dave, wait for him. But do what you feel like you should do. Don’t let anyone else’s feelings influence your opinion. Not this time.”
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Post by ARCADIA PENN MCCARTHY on Jul 11, 2011 13:57:49 GMT -5
”Well… I couldn’t call Dave a grump because I’m scared of him so I try not to talk to him at all,” she noted, wincing a little with guilt at that admission.Cadi chuckled. "That's probably just how he wants it. David Anthony Harlem...psh. He's nothing but a big pile of mush under all that hard-ass exterior.And somewhere in there he actually has a heart." She scoffed. Lore continued ”And I don’t think I’d have the heart to call Mira a grump because I love her. So…” Cadi nodded. "Mira's a sweetheart," but Lore wasn't done yet. Oh no! ”Oh! No. Okay, I’ve got it. So, the deal is that everyone has to sing one song per week. And if they miss a week, it rolls over to the next week. So they just hafta sing a bunch of songs when they do show up and they get swept up in the music and they’ll want to start coming every week. Yeah.” She nodded, and Cadi clapped. "Well I love it personally. I say we start making posters right now." she grinned.
As the girls sat there the conversation got more serious, a little more emotional and Cadi felt herself opening up.Lorelai told her she wasn't crazy and she tried her hardest to comfort her, though Cadi still wasn't smiling. The girl spoke, and it sounded as though she spoke from experience..and that helped a bit. Maybe lore was the perfect person to talk to about something like this.”I think… I… I don’t want to tell you what to do, but. In my opinion? You should think for a second about… About Frankie’s role in your life. I… I know you like him. I think it’s impossible not to like the guy. But… If old David were to walk back into your life, how quickly would you dump Franklin? Because… Frankie is perfect now, while Dave is going through his rough patch. But what if he pulls out of it?” She frowned, almost afraid to give her opinion on the topic. ”I’m just… Saying. If you… If you’d dump Frankie for old Dave, maybe… Maybe you should end the relationship. I… I’m just afraid that… That if you would do it, the longer you wait… The more it’s going to hurt Frankie when it ends.” Cadi took a deep breath and nodded. "I understand what you're saying...and if Old Dave just popped up..I don't know if I'd go running back or if I'd be too sacred he'd switch back..I'm so confused.." She cupped her face in her hands. Holding back sniffles as she sat there upon the rocks.
”And no one would blame you for it, Cadi. The heart wants what it wants. I’m sure Frankie would understand, but… If you’re having doubts… I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”A few tears steamed from her eyes behind her hands and she sighed outwardly. Why the hell couldn't she just shove off thoughts of men entirely? Lore's arms around her own made her feel a little better, as though at least someone cared and wouldn't judge her. Do what your heart tells you? She whiped the tears from her cheeks. "Ok. Thank you Lore, you have no idea how much this helps."had Cadi figure out what she was going to do?..no. But she knew she had to come clean to Frankie, no matter what happened.
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