( open ) dead on arrival -

[BENJI UMBERTO MORETTI]

i'm good to go and i'm going nowhere fast ,

benji had become a hollow shell of the man he once was. he used to be energetic, happy, charismatic and friendly. it was like the meds he’d been taking had killed him and taken away his spirit. he thought maybe after stopping the meds, he’d be able to catch his spirit again and sew it back onto his body. but it wasn’t like that at all. he’d changed completely. it was like the emptiness inside of him became full of anger and spite. for everything, for him… and it was painful. he didn’t want to hate so much, he didn’t want to be angry but he couldn’t help it. bambi could do what she usually did when benji was practicing his guitar alone, and curl up next to him and he’d get angry and make her move. he could bump into something or someone and he’d get angrier than he needed to be. he wanted to punch, kick or cuss out anything and anyone that had come in his way. he couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t talk right. his anger consumed him and it made him want to go crazy. and mira dumping him didn’t make it any better.

he knew he was being a shitty boyfriend by the blog post she’d put up after he’d innocently encouraged her to continue her plans she had made before they’d even talked that day. he hadn’t known, beforehand, that those things were effecting her negatively. he was oblivious to it, not on purpose but because not only was he used to always doing good by giving his all and more to mira since they first met, but because he was consistently trapped in his own abusive mind since taking and then stopping the medication. he sat beating himself up until they finally got to talk and he couldn’t help but hope that they’d talk it out and things would be okay. but, when mira ended up breaking things off with benji – the only thing he could say was ‘please don’t, i’m so sorry’ over and over again. but that was that. through all her tears she made it clear that this was what she thought needed to happen, so after shedding some tears and begging her not to a tad longer, he stopped and let her leave.

it had only been a few days and benji was still as miserable as he’d been the moment she did the deed. he’d taken to leaving the toursite, whenever he didn’t have a set to play, and just roaming around the city with casa and bambi or finding somewhere to sit in solitude and playing his guitar. he was more silent than usual, sulking and brooding around town and the bus. he talked to his family a couple times; seeking comfortable conversation with people he was close to. but from those loud speaking people he called family, he only gained a headache. he knew he needed to get out and do something time consuming – stay busy. but nothing he’d done that wasn’t crazy and destructive, only made him wallow in his anger and pain instead of giving him solace. but tonight – he’d decided to do things differently. benji latched up to some of his friends outside of bands, a few crew members, and went out for some drinks. a night of no painful conversations; just drinks, fun, and friends. he needed this – he was sure of it.

TAGGED open WORD COUNT 572 MUSE okay. LYRICS saturday, fob NOTES (:

[SETH AUGUST HALL]

He hadn’t really been looking for a lasting relationship, or even a one night stand, but Seth had been pretty excited for the date he was supposed to have that night. They’d met at the coffee shop and talked for quite some time- he’d bought her coffee and she’d provided him with great conversation and it had been awesome. He’d shamelessly thrown his manager-status into the conversation and she’d lapped it up. He’d asked her out for drinks that night and she’d giggled before providing him with her phone number, as well as a time and place to meet her. She’d tossed her curly black hair over her shoulder before smiling prettily at him then taking her leave. He was feeling pretty damn good about himself for awhile. He arrived at the bar a little earlier than instructed and chilled outside on a nearby bench, waiting for his date, but she never came. He dialed the number he’d been provided and on the other end was a prostitute operating out of her home, seductively asking him if he wanted to come over and “pretend” she was Lena with bigger tits. He respectfully declined, lying as he said her offer was tempting when it wasn’t, really. A sigh- might as well grab a drink while he was there, right?

He knew he wasn’t the biggest catch in the ocean, but he thought he was a pretty alright guy. He’d never had many serious girlfriends. There was one in High School who he’d been in love with (or so he thought- it probably wasn’t love at all) who he’d dated until graduation. He didn’t miss her as much as he missed the idea of her. Every girl he’d been around seemed to just be so out of his league, which he knew. He wasn’t in denial about it. He was surrounded by hot musical women and he was content being the cuddle buddy just because he didn’t have any other expectations. But he didn’t understand why this woman had stood him up. They’d worked out so well. He wasn’t expecting to have her children but why couldn’t they have a few drinks? Ridiculous.

With a sigh, Seth slipped into the bar and headed up to speak to the bartender, the smile on his face existing but a little worn. ”Just a beer, please,” he ordered, tossing a few dollars onto the counter in exchange for a sweating bottle of alcohol, which he quickly took a swig out of and looked around. Well, if he wasn’t going to get his date, he might as well look for someone else to converse with. He searched around the room, gaze flitting from person to person. A couple feeling each other up. Hawkward. A man who looked like he’d come straight from work, drinking his life away in a suit. Too depressing. A pair of laughing women. Maybe. Benji. … Benji? Yes.

The familiar face provoked Seth and he began to make his way through the crowd. He knew the younger boy was going through a rough time and needed a friend (and probably a designated driver). When he reached the other, Seth put his hand on Benji’s shoulder and bent down. ”Hey Buddy. Up for some company?”

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